When tragedy happens, and relationships end, there will come a time you’ll remember what happened but you have already forgotten the feeling, or maybe if it still lingers in your mind, you’ll just sit and watch yourself regret. When you thought memories will all just fade easily… you’re wrong. Memories linger in pictures, conversations and even in your everyday life. Separation is the worst nightmare of everyone. And dealing with these things is the most difficult thing.

How do people deal with break-ups?

Sometimes we see someone cry because his/her partner broke up with him/her. But do we really know what they think, and what they feel? No. We don’t.

We just tell them, “He/She loves you, you both know that, but there are things that aren’t totally meant to be.” Or the mighty tagalog phrase, “Malay mo may darating na mas lamang at mas mamahalin ka…” or maybe some futuristic phrases like “Someone better will come to find you.” “God has a better plan for you. He might be still in the middle of writing your destiny.”  But how sure are you? Have you been talking to Mr. Cupid lately? Hm, I guess not.

What do girls and boys usually do after the break up?

GIRLS:

They eat a lot. They eat their stress away. Many girls believe that eating is some kind of stress-reliever whenever they feel blue. And eating sometimes causes them to feel bad for themselves and realize that they deserve something better. Buffet and dessert-devouring maybe are just part of their ways to forget things.

New life, new look. New look, new life. Girls actually cut their hair very short whenever they feel depressed. Well 26-inch hair to a bob cut? Not bad, well, for those who are really in the most depressing time of their lives.

Talk their hearts out. They mingle with their Girlfriends and talk about the event so much that they end up having bitter thoughts about the guy, and even insulting the new girl that their ex’s are dating. Well the world is cruel, but let’s face it. You’ll always compare yourself to that one he’s dating right now.

They seldom Re-read conversations. For some girls, re-reading the guy’s texts can make them smile a little bit and just end up tearing their hearts out again right after. This is such a no-no when it comes to dealing with stress and depression, it’ll just make you feel broken right after you read them.

Enjoy a shopping galore. Some girls who definitely have the “M-O-N-E-Y” will just draw their stress away by buying the latest Christian Louboutin, Prada, YSL and whatever is available around. Rich but broken, but not broke. That should do that.

Dance here, KTV there, club everywhere. Some girls are totally into parties that whenever they feel upset about things they just end up having Girls’ Night Out. Well, when boys thought that they’re the only ones who can do these kinds of things… prove them wrong, girl! We can do better!

Show revenge through make over. Girls are usually body/weight conscious. Depressed girls think that they were left behind because someone’s perfectly better than them. And hitting the gym is the number one answer for their insecurities. Some go for gym to make their boys regret. Some do a lot to change. (Well, it’s pretty much bearable, I think. Hehe)

HELL NO to Nicholas Sparks’ movies. (just for a while) Girls love to watch movies especially when they’re down. But it is very compulsory to choose comedy/any-other-genre movies than love stories, because during those rough times Magic Mike is better than The Notebook.

Going to be working 24/7 or maybe study until third term’s final exam. Most of the time, extra-curricular works can help you forget the depression and the guilt. Girls tend to be busy to forget and to move on. Well it always counts.

Playing a genre similar to what they feel. Some girls literally play sad songs and connect the songs to their current situation. Well, some girls feel better whenever they do that.

They read relatable quotes.  Girls love to surf the net especially when they’re upset. That’s why they end up seeing quotes that can slap them straight into their faces. Well, this isn’t actually alarming because even in love people are searching for related quotes for their present relationships. But the fact that other people can write the perfect words for you to post, now that’s really a bit of a hell world. Realizing that other people are also experiencing the things you’re facing right now. Yes, it helps, sometimes.

HELL YES to a new date. Some thinks that moving on means replacing someone better and just forget the past all the way. Well, yes, moving on means forgetting but not literally replacing your ex-boyfriend immediately. That’s why we have what we call “Rebound relationships” and we all know, not all rebounds work. So might as well consider waiting for the scars to heal in time.

 BOYS:

They say hello to the world of busy people. Girls think that boys easily forget everything after the break up, when the truth is that boys keep their worlds busy just to flush out stress and depression. Just like what other girls do. By keeping their minds busy, thinking about their problems is last on their priorities.

DOTA is one click away. Other boys play computer games when they feel blue. Transferring their feelings into their computer avatars is more efficient than thinking and blending everything inside their minds. After all, when they play, all they know is thank God it is Friday. (That’s an expression, btw)

Play and pay in a manly way. What’s manlier with playing basketball or watching basketball games and placing their bets on the table? Well, this is what rich boys do when they’re depressed. Boys, tend to be a heavy bettor when they’re upset. But losing? Nuh uh, they already felt that right after their girlfriends left them.

What the heck is a 3-month-rule? Some boys don’t believe in 3 month rule. (This rule became famous because of the movie ‘One More Chance’. Where in couples will wait until 3months to date new ‘future-partners’. Well, as far as I’m concern every couple knows that rule.) For other boys, moving on is easy, but not to the point that they will forget completely, sometimes hatred swallows their pride. It’s just the way it is, what is done, is completely done. This is like saying, second-chance-no-more. It is a no mercy perception for those who were hurt so bad. When boys dated other girls right after the break up, now that’s something… I mean everything! But we can’t blame them though.

When boys do meetings, a glass of something is surely flowing. Most of the time, boys are into ‘letting-the-beer-flow-out-of-the-glass’ especially whenever they’re having problems. To erase the pain for a while, they drink alcohol with their good boy buddies and end up waking in the morning with not just heart break but also headache. But what can we do? They just want to forget some things too. If girls’ night outs are in, then boys’ night outs are flowing.

Boys really know what ‘boy talk’ is. Well, the same as girls, boys can talk about the break up, or the problem with their boy buddies. But the difference is, the boy buddies are the ones asking what happened so that it will be as conversational as possible. Well, they don’t want to volunteer just to tell their side, they want to be asked for them to be aware what to share and what’s not important to say anymore. Usually they just insert the question right after a topic. (Clearly, only boys can understand)

They just keep it as long as they can. It’s really obvious that most of the boys don’t express their feelings that much. Most of them tend to keep the problem and fix them in a very calm way. Boys don’t usually tell you what they feel, but they can make you feel that they still care and they don’t just easily forget.

And whatever the perk and the shortcoming of being alone is, break ups are still the ones crashing all the good foundation of a relationship. And whatever each individual does to make their egos feel better, we have to be open to listen. But if there’s still a chance to fix them, then time will help them mend the pieces.

There’s still a chance to forgive and forget for those who are completely open and ready. And for those who are still in the midst of moving on, the world is waiting for you to heal, my friend. People come and go, and the best ones are those who were always there to stay.

*Photo Credit: Google Images, http://www.lifebridgeblogs.org/*