“Don’t end up with a man who sounds like me, who say the things I say, who can make you smile just like I did. End up with someone who will do things that won’t remind you of me.” – Verbal words from my Ex to me.

They said that a love that is in the past, is a love that has to be forgotten, but what if that love was the only thing that keeps reminding you of how much it hurts to find another one again? Well, the famous quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson, “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” is just a perfect explanation of everything I would want this blog to be understood of.

I’ve heard it from different people, they said it is hard to let go of something that you used to love and cherish; it is hard to let go of that person who made you feel so special and it is hard not to take your hopes up and expect for something better.

Over time, I realized how moving on doesn’t only mean you are over the person but moving on also means that you have forgotten the feeling and the regret you have when you let them go.

We all have that one ex that made us walk through a high bridge or touch the sky even if you look like a fool; that one person who made us feel like we are in a cloud 9 and that the world stops revolving around us when we’re together; that one person who made us eat veggies and home made fries instead of burgers and fries from fast food chains because they just do so and that one person who made us more comfortable watching movies leaning on their shoulders or spending the night over instead of partying with friends because they know that we have an exam coming for the next day.

We all have that one ex that gave us reason to spend weekends with our family instead of hanging out in the bar with friends; that one person who made you drive slowly because they said you drive like a NASCAR or F1 racer; that one person whom you hold hands and spend hours in front of your house, waiting for your mom to call and ask you to go inside and call it a day; that one person who made you quit your cheer leading squad because they are jealous of that one quarterback hanging around, chitchatting with you and that one person who brought you to a basketball game and made you scream like a NBA super fan whenever they shoot the ball.

We all have that one ex who annoys you so bad that even if you’re having the worst day, they will make that day end well because you will end up laughing about it together; that one ex you have been bragging your friends about because you think they are the sweetest thing that happened in your life; that one person your friends are jealous of because you stay with them instead of playing games and hang out with all the homies; and that one ex you always call just to say good night to and check on, making sure they are okay and having a great day.

We all have that one ex that our families love, even your grandparents want them to be around on a Sunday potluck lunch; that one person whom your parents are looking into meeting because they want to know them better with a possibility of introducing them to the whole family and that one person that our siblings look for whenever they are not around for a basketball game or a baking session.

We all have that one ex who made us think of the future; that one person who made you think beach and staycations are better than roadtrips and nightmarkets; that one person who made you dreamed about your perfect wedding and made you cringe of thinking you’ll get married someday and have your own family; and that one person who made you feel that they are the ones you wanted to spend the rest of your lives with.

We all have that one ex who broke our hearts so badly but we still hoped they will change and just say sorry because you will always give them a chance no matter what happens; that one person who made us bawl like a kid every time something reminds us of them; that one person who taught you not to trust anymore because feeling in love is never a good idea after a break up; that one person who will make you feel like love songs are not for you and sad songs are your national anthem and that one person who became the reason you watched The Notebook, Titanic and A Walk to Remember, over and over again, thinking that someday you will finally meet the one who is really meant for you.

We all have that one ex who made us create that high standard that we are now looking for in a relationship; that one person who made us stronger and realize that we deserve something better; that one person who made us pray for a better love story; that one person who made us be scared of taking the risk; and that one person who made us think of the worst of every thing because it is hard to take the chance and get hurt again.

Even if we say we have moved on, we still care for that one person, there are times that we make sure they are dating the nicest people they could meet or sometimes we just forget about them and never talk to them again because even if we already let go, we may have a 1% inside us that keeps on reliving the memories and the feeling but not wanting them back anymore.

We may not notice but sometimes, the way we may have never forgotten them reflects on how we look towards the future. You may have been creating a certain standards after you broke up not realizing that those standards are based on them, based to the characteristics you like about them and the ones that made the relationship go wrong. We never noticed that even if we have dated so many people after them, we still look for someone who will give the same treatment that certain ex did, give you the same freedom that ex showed you and give the same amount of sweetness they made you taste while you were together.

It is a matter of taking grudge against that person or letting them go and forget everything. You see, until now, you are still looking for the right one, but what if you cannot find the right one for you just because you are so clouded finding a better person that will match or exceed that memories you have with that one who got away? What if all along, you are comparing your dates to that certain ex that you have?

You may have moved on to that person but letting go of the memories and expectations is the best thing to let your guards down and take the chance on waiting for the right one instead of trying to compete just because the other party is having a new relay already or stop chasing the destiny that you think is for you.

Let things go.

Let destiny rewrite itself for a new one.

Let go of all your worries of not finding the right one.

You have to learn how to take risk of falling in love in a different way with someone who has no similarities (in both good and bad ways) to that one ex that I think we may all have.

You have to let go and take a step back from the best ex you ever had.