Dating. This is hard to study and navigate. Especially when it comes to its similarities and differences because there’s a lot of them. I think this is a perfect chance to know the things we need to prepare when it comes to dating and I decided to be the one who will give you the little deets that many dating books never tell you.

I know that you’ll ask if what do I know about things like this especially now that I’m actually single. Well, the reason why I’m single is because apparently, I have been dating the wrong way and trying to impress the wrong guys. Curious? Okay let’s begin…

Us girls, we are usually being pursued because that is the society made us believe, well, the thing is, sometimes, being pursued can be a good thing and not-so-good-thing. By the time we like the guy that we are dating, he might have figured out how to read our minds and all the things that they don’t want us to know. Fast forward to this century, I don’t think being pursued is even an option, well, there are some but I think we should know that the generation has changed, most of girls nowadays are independent and can even live up to pursuing whoever they like but the problem is, we are likely to meet guys that take advantage of us no matter what the situation is.

So I think I’ve got a number of them in my list. Funny how I say this but this is as per my experience and friends’ experiences when it comes to dating.

1. Girls tend to overthink, while guys are the chill ones. – I know of it, because I’m the most over thinker of all the over thinkers, there’s a quote by my favorite novelist, Jane Austen, “A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.” During the first date, girls do think about what is the future looks like with the person they are sitting with at the moment and by the end of the day, after a first kiss, they are able to imagine their future weekend with this man or even how they will celebrate birthdays with them. So they will tend to plan things ahead which is a little bit suffocating for men because they usually don’t think about the future at this length. Imagine in your first date, you are already thinking about how you will introduce him to your friends or if your best friend will like him. Yes, I did that too, so you better agreed onto this coz, you can’t lie to yourself. But guys are different, they just live in the now, if he dates you now, it’s either his mind is debating on what are you thinking about the restaurant he chose, the date mood that you might want or he might be thinking what your type is so he tries to impress you with so many things but never he will think about what’s gonna happen for the next week unless something happens now. And if you’re unlucky, they might be already thinking how to ditch you after the first date.
2. Guys will never tell you what they want, but they will make you tell them what you are looking for while girls tend to reciprocate and try their best to match the energy of the guy they are dating- I know this is big shock, but let me elaborate coz I think there are so many people who will relate into this. Guys have this ability to adapt. They try to know what the girl likes and they choose their next move from there. This is why they always ask, what is your favorite movie, who is your favorite singer, what is your favorite food, and etc… and while you answer those questions, they try to give you an answer that will match yours. Didn’t get it? Okay, Example, I told the guy that I’m into movies and so he will say, he is also into movies, he will then ask you what kinds of movies that you like, if you told him that you like sci-fi, romance, of course in his mind he has to say something, a challenge as I call it. He’ll probably say, he likes action and you don’t or maybe you do coz if you like him, you’ll say that you’re okay with watching an action movie and then boom! he got you. Or he will say something that every girls will love. They will use their advantage of knowing your similarities at this point, and so you’ll think of it as if you have so many things in common. They might use the facts about them that makes girls want them, like maybe if he likes Harry Potter, you’ll like him back or if he likes to watch FRIENDS. This is where my theory is proven because girls have the ability to change or try something out of the box. Example, if the guy they like loves to play tennis, then they will try to learn how to play tennis because in our minds, it is a plus points if you can do or you like whatever a guy likes. And you cannot disagree into this because how many times did you look up into google to check the music they play? or the games they play in the Play Station? or even the hobbies they do or the places they go with their friends just to create a conversation with them. So much into reciprocation that you don’t notice you are the one changing not him.
3. Girls are planners while guys are executers on their will. – Never in a life of a woman they agreed that men are best at remembering special dates; Men fill up the blank spaces but never completes a sentence. It’s a metaphor that I made when I realized that most of the guys that I dated, never even remember a tad bit of the things I said on first dates while I do remember all the details but never did they admit so. For example, I dated this guy who said that he’s going to come home for a holiday, and we both agreed on those dates but never he went home on those said dates and so I asked, he said he can’t remember that we had a conversation of such. Well, you might say that maybe it is only a one time thing, but no. Different man, different scenario, this second guy planned on having a dinner date on his birthday but later on his birthday I was left waiting for him to show up and celebrate the next day. Probably, the answer to all of this is that girls are just normally mindful not knowing that there can be cases that the other party will have other plans or eventually forget but why? I think in the future, men are more likely to have Alzheimers than women.
4. Guys will tell you what you want to hear while girls listen to what they think is real. – This is a simple explanation. No men has ever told a girl on the first date that they don’t like them. They will always tell you all the things they you wanted to hear. Like, you are beautiful, you are nice, you are supposed to be respected, he will never do whatever your ex did to you. Or some of the experts when it comes to fooling women, they tell you this drama where in according to them, they were traumatized by their exes or he had been to many dates but never had met someone who really liked them. Sounds familiar? Maybe that one guy you had a one night stand with told you that before or your ex boyfriend. Most of the guys who are expert when it come these kinds of talks are the ones who plans to get into your pants by the end of the night. They will make you feel you are wanted, clearly that’s what girls wanted to hear. While girls in the other hand, will listen and feel in relate to whatever the guy say, thinking that yes, I’ve felt that, you don’t have to feel it too, I will not do anything like that to you, this is what a girl will think while they are trying to figure out the man sitting in front of them. But then again, 70% of whatever I’m saying here is true, especially when a guy doesn’t like the first date but has no choice but to listen to that light saber in his pants, knocking. He has to get the girl to want him tonight and just figure out how he will ditch her tomorrow and then of course, the girl will feel like she met someone who think similar and had the similar experience and so, yes, boom! Now you’re in bed. After the date the girl looking for the guy’s Facebook profile or instagram to text him where he went or if there’s any second date happening is probably a cliché; It’s always the girls who are getting lost on one night stands and first dates. But of course, this is as per observation only but hell, I know that I am partially factual.
5. If he likes to have a second date he will tell you right then and there but if the girl is the one planning for the second date then the guy must not like you at all and just enduring the time til you separate ways. The ghost and the one being ghosted. – This is actually normal, even with girls, when you don’t like the date, you just try to be polite and end the date very well but never you will call after. Most men do this and girls are left trying to figure out what went wrong. This is the problem and I think most men had gradually prove to us that they are a-holes for doing this. Girls try to be polite by slowly making their exit but it might take days of showing the guy that she’s changing little by little, coz we don’t want a one gunshot, we want bad news to come smoothly so it won’t hurt anybody but guys are different…if they don’t like it, they will shut you off right then and there, you’ll be lucky if he was able to drive you home in one piece. Most signs were there but we just don’t see it. Example, a guy will be asking you if you are okay constantly for you to think he cares but in reality he is just checking when he’s gonna get rid off you to be able to get his freedom back from all those side stories you are telling or the not so comfortable aura you are giving his vibes. Or when you both decided for a Netflix date and the guy suddenly distances himself on the couch, trying to sit few inches away from you and he will choose a movie that you’re gonna get bored off, so then he will ask you if you like the movie but then again as per point No. 2, you will just tell him you like it and trust me, it’s not even in their most contentment to have you liking the movie they choose. If you’re a good date, you both won’t finish a movie even get in the half of it but if you’re not his type, you’ll probably gonna finish a movie or two or worst, a whole fucking series. Until you reach home, he’ll try to make you feel he enjoyed but for sure, by the time he reaches back home, he will just be on his couch, back to scrolling IG or swiping right to new girls in his dating app. He’ll wait a day to unlatch you or block you or he will wait for you to get a little crazy in texting him for the whole day and then he’ll have the reason to block you. And yes, that is the story of how you got dumped after the first date. This happens to ladies too, the difference is, ladies will just rant about you among her girlfriends and sometimes they decide for her, unlike guys, they will just tell the boys that they don’t like the date. Imagine how much would girls talk about being ghosted than being on a date. Extremely!

I know that when it comes to dating, there’s so much a lot to say and I can’t even give you so many details about it because I, myself, has been into best and worst dates of my life and trust me, you wouldn’t want to experience what we already did. Such an embarrassing times but I think having those were the best lessons of all, coz now, you’ll just have to be more cautious and ready when it comes to dating. You could be dating the man of your dreams or the monster of your nightmares.

Sadly, we won’t know unless we try so I’m not gonna ask you to stop dating because this blog is for trying things and learning from your mistakes. I hope you will just learn how to give yourself a space in between and learn to know your worth.

This blog will always be your guide to not only movies but also to everything under the sun coz like what we always say, This is 21st Century Barbie, where we make your thoughts sound loud and pretty.