Yes, I know that you are wondering why I’m suddenly idle on all my social media platforms especially in my own website. This doesn’t mean anything, I’m just a little occupied with work which I kept using as a reason for the last 2 years of being idle every now and then but that is the truth. They said that you should have a work-life balance but I got none. Truth be told, my job requires me to be online 24/7.

Recently, I have been weighing all the things that I do and I realized that I do lots of things and I left them behind just to do my job even on weekends. I was supposed to be recording a podcast, write a blog, read a book, play a video game, and do some cooking/make up videos, considering I have a beauty, food-focused and movie blogs. I already failed on continuing my game stream channel and lost a lot of viewers on twitch and so I did. I guess work is just more important right now, I’d say, but no, just work is too toxic and it’s scraping off my chance to get a life balance in my end.

It is not a secret that I am actually looking for a new job, but it’s not that easy. You will need to find a job that will allow you to grow more, and will be able to help you manage your finances and leaving my job is not actually a good idea, especially I have a huge medical loan to take of. Being sick and independent is actually more challenging than starting a new family and so I chose to be on my own for a while until I find someone who will eventually ride the tides with me but until then, I shall manage my mental health and prepare myself for every little commotion that can actually happen at work or even in life.

I missed a month of posts, movies and tv series, that’s a lot for a blogger like me. The traffic in my website is actually getting smaller and smaller. I also believe that I will lose more followers if I continue doing this idle thing. Today, I realized that I really need to make a work-life balance because if not, I’d live being focused with work and nothing at all.

I was enrolled in the language institute to learn Arabic Language, but I cannot finish a whole semester because I am so busy with work and even the professors are telling me that I need to catch up to be able to finish; I had a gift, I can learn more but being idle is keeping me from doing so. As a matter of fact, I was able to learn the Arabic script within 2 months and all of them are saying that I have a future, but with how busy I am, I cannot even hold my iPad and review because even after work, I am working from home.

So what am I gonna do? Is it really because we are slaves for money and that is the reason why we actually cannot choose a work-life balance and we always choose to work 24/7, taking breaks from all the personal things you wanna do? Well, I guess that’s how humans live nowadays. We just choose the things that provide for our finances.

I was asked by some of my readers when will I post moviews again, I told them, I’m gonna start and be at my best chance to be able to even write one in each week and even read a book after that. I guess, for now, we’ll just have to accept that we need money more than money need us so we sell our soul to work. I know that’s not right but that’s how life is right now.

PS. On Saturdays, I stay in the hospital for some infusions and therapy, one client called me while I’m in the hospital, and she kept on insisting that I was lying and I don’t want to assist her coz it is a holiday/weekend. The fuck! That is the moment my patience just shut down. This is where the trigger of writing to my readers what I am really facing began.

The truth is, I stopped growing in this job. I kept everything in my life idle just because of my job. If I get a new job, I’d make sure it will not be in the same industry. If ever it is in the same industry, I will make sure that I will make my own grounds for work-life balance to happen. To be honest, the ones getting the work-life balance shit are the ones who have the higher positions in every company, but for a simple staff? nah, forget it. work your ass off.

This is just toxicity in so many levels.

Work-Life Balance is a bullshit.